How to feel a little calmer while life has some challenges.

Recently, I have become an armchair traveller.  The travel books I am reading remind me of trips unaffected by coronavirus.  While it remains difficult to consider venturing abroad at the moment, I can imagine varied landscapes of olive-groves and mountain villages.  During the last two years, I have been fortunate to spend a few months in Spain.  It has been a very necessary tonic to help recover from a challenging patch of life marred by multiple bereavements, redundancy and my own health struggle.  I had been knocked sideways and was unsure how to get up again, let alone recover fully.  Would I feel crumpled and sore for ever?  All I knew was that I was craving sunshine and quiet to help heal and thankfully Spain was providing this in abundance. Life since coronavirus emerged has obviously been different.  I initially felt the loss of my precious trips to Spain that helped my soul feel alive again.  So now, instead of actually packing my suitcase, I am reading travelogues about

We've reached a milestone here in the UK in dealing with coronavirus.  We have passed the end of the 12 week period since the first day of lockdown.  By then I figured we'd be over the worst and nearly back to normal.  Friends that were "shielding" had been told that they needed to stay at home for this length of time.  Even Boris Johnson said that in the 12 weeks we could "turn the tide of this disease and send coronavirus packing in this country". We have turned the tide, thankfully.  The rate of infection appears to be slowly reducing each week in most areas.  I can feel my shoulders relaxing a little more as I see the numbers finally coming down.  The dreadful peak with all the tragic losses has indeed passed.  The weather is gloriously sunny and we are able to enjoy it now in our small groups of up to 6 people.   Easy Jet has just taken its first flight on Monday for 11 weeks from Gatwick to Glasgow with 51 passengers.  As more things are opening up I

Celebration is in order!  New Zealand is coronavirus free from Monday this week!  40, 000 people have been tested in the last 17 days and none have tested positive with no one in hospital for Covid-19 for 12 days.  Even more incredible is that it has been 40 days since the last case of community transmission.  Just imagine, waking up with no coronavirus in the country and being able to... open schools normally, go out to eat, hug friends and travel around.  Wow!  I am celebrating with you and will join PM Jacinda Ardern in her little dance for joy. Just before I could watch Jacinda Ardern's speech on You Tube, the preceding advert was ironically for colourful fabric face masks for the UK viewers.  It's hard not to compare New Zealand's success to UK's crisis.  A week ago, the ONS estimated that 39, 000 people in England alone were newly infected with coronavirus.  This number was calculated from a huge study testing thousands of randomly selected people.  My partner w

In a recent survey, 54% of people intend to make some positive changes in their own lives post lockdown.  The survey also found that many hoped we would learn lessons as a country, notably valuing our local communities and caring for our ecosystem.  If we have been fortunate enough to have our basic needs met during these times (home, enough food and some form of work or income) lockdown has given space to reflect on priorities in life. A common experience during lockdown has been a feeling of "less pressure" in terms of over-scheduled diaries.  In our achieving and materialistic society, we can all get caught up in the "more is better" philosophy.  This can include more work squeezed into evenings or weekends, more time spent on social media and our phones, more shopping, more trips away, more social engagements... It feels exhausting and never ending, always one more text or email before we can stop.  We can be so busy multi-tasking, we are not fully present in

Living by the beach in the last few weeks during our easing of lockdown has had its mixed blessings.  My fears have been realised about our little seaside town becoming busy with people and cars.  Relaxing lockdown during our sunniest May weather on record has inevitably meant numerous visitors.  My recent conversations while out on my daily walk with locals have been about the crowds and how to cope with the influx. My perception of people adhering to social distancing has become somewhat skewed by living here.  I've been feeling some despair watching the number of people not social distancing.  Many groups started to appear long before groups of up to 6 were permitted from yesterday.  I have even been wondering about whether I want to continue to still live here with the anti-social behaviour that we are now seeing in a very small minority of cases.  It is really upsetting for a small, peaceful community. Thankfully I hear from friends who can help me put this local issue int

It's a glorious, sunny day by the sea and from my window it is hard to believe that we were all in lockdown ten days ago.  Life here on a sunny, but windy mid-week day is a relief because the crowds have not come.  The beach looks quieter, cyclists and walkers seem to be weaving around each other amicably.  I am enjoying seeing the kite-surfers emerge again and show off their skills as they make incredible turns and leaps.  I might have actually found a moment of calm post-lockdown. On days like this when I see people happily enjoying the beach and having picnics galore, I feel alone in having some post-lockdown fears.  But apparently not.  Post-lockdown anxiety is a thing now for a number of people.  I've read articles on this topic written in Australia, New Zealand, UK and USA.  And this is reassuring to me who feels such mixed emotions.  On the one hand, it feels exciting to venture just a little further from my lockdown routine.  And at the same time, each step out of m

Last week I wrote about patience which I'm not sure resonated with many people.  Did I miss something in the current zeitgeist?  Are people feeling less patient and more irritable ?  Fed up with this whole social distancing thing?  Maybe cracks are appearing in our largely cohesive response to lockdown and saving lives.  If our Prime Minister's senior advisor can apparently bend the rules of self-isolation, are some questioning whether to keep following guidelines?  Even something "simple" such as sending children back to school is creating divisions among experts let alone parents trying to decide what is safe. A few days ago I stumbled across an article by Camilla Cavendish about how we could all be experiencing some element of "quarantine fatigue".  As the phrase suggests, it is a known phenomenon where individuals in very restricted social settings become weary.  Studied by scientists in remote expeditions, they found that quarantine fatigue reaches it

Apparently, when rehabilitated primates are taken to be released back into the wild, they can take time to climb out of their cages.  Initially reluctant to leave their safe place and familiar carers, patience can be needed while they take brave steps back into the wild.   Caution is finally overcome by the desire to explore, tempted by their once familiar habitat and space to roam free. I'm not sure I'm ready to take those brave steps back out into the world as England starts to ease its lockdown.  I am peeping out of my lockdown "cave" in the middle of a mini heatwave and I don't want to venture out.  I can manage my normal walk and then I'm glad to arrive back into the sanctuary of my home.  How can anyone do this adjustment so quickly?  It all feels far too rapid for my sloth like pace of adapting to change. Because outside is no longer my quiet, deserted beach with a handful of walkers giving comfortable social distance.  I am no longer noticing the

"Slow and steady wins the race" comes to mind at the moment as I am observing the effects of starting to ease our lockdown rules.  My gut instinct is that it is too soon for England, and we needed to keep pausing alongside Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.  Could we now be in for a longer journey?   As the idiom teaches us, steady and consistent effort can in the long run be more productive than rushing to get somewhere.  The latter can prove to be unsustainable, unreliable or could even result in mistakes. It's natural I guess after nearly two months of lockdown that some of us (plus the economy) are itching to get going again.  To help keep steady this week, I'm focusing on the quality of patience.  I'm not sure this virtue is fashionable in our modern hyper-connected fast-paced world.  But coronavirus is forcing us to remember what patience feels like.  During our lockdown, I became re-acquainted with patience while only shopping once each week.  If we ra

I miss normal.  I miss being able to plan the coming weeks or months without considering coronavirus.  I miss the simplicity of checking the weather to think about when I could either swim, walk or even canoe.  Now I am checking the current R value and number of cases of Covid-19.  I'm scanning graphs to hope that I can see a downward curve appearing, giving me some sense of how we are doing. But I have surprisingly adapted to our "staying at home" normal.  It's not always easy, but I'm in the swing of it.  It's taken most of the seven weeks to feel fairly skilled at doing yoga or mindfulness sessions by video.  I am adept at washing shopping and cleaning surfaces.  Our towels and door handles have never been so well cleaned.  And we have finally got a system of shopping once a week (plus the farmers market and vegetable box delivery) that works. I continue to find pleasure in the small moments of life, as we all do.  Nature continues to soothe my slightly

At about noon yesterday, as in much of the UK, a storm rolled in.  Living right by the sea, storms never pass unnoticed, they are an event.  There is a sense of "battening down the hatches" to make sure we get through the impending winds.  In our well built cul-de-sac, it usually only means checking the recycling bins are secured.  I checked the high-tide time to see when the highest waves will roll in.  All that can then be done is to wait for its arrival, knowing that it will pass. The timing was perfect as my own emotional storm was simultaneously brewing.  The knot in my stomach that I had for a few days had progressed to a simmering volcano.  Waiting for the latest update about our social distancing rules was already involving a lot of mental and emotional energy.  I am very concerned about relaxing our lockdown rules too early...  It reminded me of the early weeks of this whole pandemic trying to work out what on earth was going on and what to do.  Watching the ten mi

Are you feeling virus-weary?  Me too.  I only heard this term recently and knew that fitted perfectly.  I am tired of thinking about coronavirus, with the endless uncertainties that come with this pandemic.  Writing just days before the UK's planned second "review" I have a knot in my stomach  about pending changes to our lockdown.  After a brief a look at the latest statistics, I feel heavy with sadness.  There are so many questions to ask but for now, I wish for our "curve" to not only be flattened but with many fewer cases.  In fact relaxing lockdown too soon fills me with dread... I am not sure it is safe to do quite yet (and maybe others agree?). I've noticed that before a "review" I start reading more articles and data about coronavirus to work out what could happen next.  Why?  Because uncertainty sits uncomfortably with me and I find sudden changes hard going.  But if I spend time reading too much, it will raise my stress levels and I w

"I'm coping" or "I'm enjoying the bird song and sunshine!" are my standard replies to anyone asking how I'm doing in lockdown.  Is it just me saying these kind of fairly bland answers?  The conversation often moves quickly to sharing how lucky we are to live by the sea in these times.  The most revealing answer I've given (and this is to close friends) is "pretty okay, a few ups and downs".  What on earth is happening to my power of communication? Ah yes, the pandemic.  I'm so aware that all of us are experiencing lockdown with its own struggles that I don't want to "laden" anyone with more details.  Or I'm mindful that as soon as I might try to reveal a concern the gratitude conversation will return - "how lucky we are to be healthy and how much worse it could be".  As someone who recently spent a week writing about gratitude, I get this.  I enjoy heartwarming conversations about the abundance of nature, o

If only relaxing felt easy at the moment.  Relaxing feels like something I have to actually remember to do!  But I can feel a sense of calm return as soon as I engage my parasympathetic nervous system.  To help do this, I am planning some relaxation "boosts" to support me through the ups and downs of the day.  Maybe I'm not super chilled at every moment (I wish) but I can build in chunks of relaxation. Having had two days of painful headaches in the week and back pain that has flared up, I'm feeling a little less robust than normal.  With the headaches and nausea, I found myself thinking maybe this could be the start of the virus?  That led to a few hours of stress hoping/praying that no more symptoms develop.  How I long for the days when I could just have a headache and know that it was hormonal or from too much dark chocolate.  Now it becomes entwined with a pandemic. Definitely time for some calm to return!  First stop for a relaxation boost - I booked a face