Virus-weary? How we can give ourselves a moment of compassion in these challenging times.


Are you feeling virus-weary?  Me too.  I only heard this term recently and knew that fitted perfectly.  I am tired of thinking about coronavirus, with the endless uncertainties that come with this pandemic.  Writing just days before the UK's planned second "review" I have a knot in my stomach  about pending changes to our lockdown.  After a brief a look at the latest statistics, I feel heavy with sadness.  There are so many questions to ask but for now, I wish for our "curve" to not only be flattened but with many fewer cases.  In fact relaxing lockdown too soon fills me with dread... I am not sure it is safe to do quite yet (and maybe others agree?).

I've noticed that before a "review" I start reading more articles and data about coronavirus to work out what could happen next.  Why?  Because uncertainty sits uncomfortably with me and I find sudden changes hard going.  But if I spend time reading too much, it will raise my stress levels and I won't sleep so well...

So I'm trying a different approach today.  I'm going without my research and instead giving myself a dose of compassion.  It's using a technique called a "self-compassion break" and comes from the amazing work by Kristin Neff (researcher and author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself).  Rather than spending time on the internet depleting my energy levels, I can see if using compassion will top up my reserves.

So I have taken myself outside to a garden chair in the sunshine.  I settle myself by feeling the warmth on my skin and hear the bird song around me.  Then I bring to mind a small difficulty right now.   So I focus on the uncertainty about the pending "announcement".   I try to locate that emotion in my body, which is easy- the knot in my stomach.

The second part is to recognise that a moment of struggle is a shared human experience.  We are all experiencing some level of discomfort in this pandemic.  As I breathe and sit for a few moments, I do feel a connection to others, to nature and life around me.

The third stage is to bring a sense of warmth and kindness from our hearts to this feeling or situation.  I place my hand over my heart and breathe deeply.   The compassion is enhanced by saying a phrase that you would say to a close friend in this situation, or that you would love to hear from another person.  This can feel hard if it's not your normal self-talk but examples may be "I'm not alone" or "we will get through this" or "all will be well".

The exercise took about five minutes and at the end I did feel calmer with a sense of kindness in my heart (and less of a knot in my stomach!).  While we have limited time on screens with our close friends at the moment, giving ourselves support might be the best thing we can do for now.

Blue sky in Nerja, Spain with calm seas."With self-kindness, we soothe and calm our troubled minds.  We make a peace offering of warmth, gentleness and sympathy from ourselves to ourselves, so that true healing can occur" (Kristin Neff).


For more information, go to www.selfcompassion.org - look under "practices" for more instruction.  There is also a selection of free downloads for guided self-compassion.

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