How to get through Covid fatigue - have patience and rest or push on through?

Getting covid for the first time was a bit of a shock, having managed to escape it for two and a half years.  I had just come back from a nourishing Ayurvedic retreat in Herefordshire and had been feeling relaxed and well.  A few days later, however, I rapidly felt ill with the classic signs: sore throat, fever and aching muscles.  I just knew that I finally had covid.  It was definitely more flu-like than a sniffly cold and took well over ten days to be out of bed very much.  But nearly six weeks on, I am still on the slow path to recovery...

I keep telling myself that I am slowly improving.  The constant headache around the front of my head finally subsided which was a relief.  The muscle aches are less common.  I still cough, especially if I overdo things.  But the main thing left is the fatigue.  Like fatigue I have never experienced before.  It is not being tired nor low energy.  It feels like a strange creature has come to hang out in my body for a while.  Yet the fatigue also fluctuates throughout the day, with the mornings being the best because sleep seems to miraculously help.  By the late afternoon and evening, I feel much closer to my "covid-self" and can do very little except rest most days.  

The first bit of advice I have found is to "focus on what you can do right now".  The good news is that I can still go for a slow, gentle walk and be in nature.  Sitting by the sea, listening to the waves and birdlife feels like daily medicine.  While I rested on the beach recently, I was kept company by numerous turnstones.  These small brown and white seabirds were all perched on the groyne, waiting for the tide to turn ready to feed.  None of us moved for nearly an hour as the sun slowly dipped down towards the horizon and rewarded us with spectacular colours.

I can also concentrate on a task for longer now, having a little more energy for my brain to work!  I never knew that mental activity could be tiring, but it has been.  The first time I tried to study, the fatigue feeling would return after only thirty minutes, calling me to rest again in bed.  The computer seems to also require copious energy so I set a timer to stop before I have over-done it.  I'm trying to be pragmatic, but at the same time I can't help but have moments of thinking "when exactly is this going to improve" and "there must be a solution to this?"

The other advice is to "take things steady and rest as much as you need to".  How could just resting in bed actually help I have wondered?  Yet quite often it is the only option.  As I lie there, either listening to relaxing music or a very gentle podcast, I can feel that it does help.  The energy starts to recharge and I know that I will be able to do something a bit later.  If I overdo it one day, such as walking to meet a friend for a herbal tea and long chat, I will then feel wiped out the next day and need to do less.  And yes, I know, when did going out for short walk and drink become something strenuous?

Even as I write this, I have a judgemental voice within questioning is it really this bad?  Aren't I making a fuss when people are much more seriously affected?  Couldn't I just push myself and do a bit more?  I am normally fairly active and would much rather go for a walk, do some yoga or swim to relax.  It feels kind of weak and embarrassing to be so limited still.  We live in a culture where being busy and productive is the ideal and the busier the better.  Even with covid fatigue, I am still trying to "keep up" with a few parts of my life with plenty of rest in between. But is this still too much for my body right now?

It's hard to just relax fully at home and I need a change of scene each day if only for an hour.  Yet any over-exertion can make the recovery longer apparently.  So for now, I am learning to live with this fatigue as best as I can.  Even if I am slower and more sloth-like than normal, I am still here, breathing and living.  I can enjoy the sunset just as much with fatigue as without.  The hot chocolate at the community cafe tastes delicious no matter how I feel.  Life, I guess, can't always be busy, busy, busy.  I just hope the fatigue improves soon.

 

"The little things, the little moments, 

they aren’t little!"  

Jon Kabat-Zinn