Learning about how to rest from observing birdlife on the beach.

Living with long covid for the last four or so months has been challenging.  One aspect I'm struggling with is having to rest a lot during the day.  I'm not talking about a short fifteen minute power nap kind of rest, but often an hour at a time (or more) throughout the day.  My current level of fatigue means that this seems to be the only way to be slightly functional for short periods in the day.  Any more activity and I start to go downhill.  It feels totally alien to me yet every day I am confronted with the fact that at the moment, rest is necessary.

Why is something as natural as taking a rest so difficult to do?  I understand and value sleep as an essential part of our health.  But resting during the day?  There is so much I want to do in life, why would I even want to stop during the day? I am someone who has only rested when I feel ill.  Given a choice on a leisurely Sunday afternoon to either have a nap or go for a swim in the cold sea, I would choose the swim.  I would describe myself as an active person who finds it hard to sit still for long unless on my yoga mat.  I might even go as far as saying that I push myself to keep going unless unwell.  The qualities I have valued in myself include being hard-working, conscientious and capable.  Somewhere along the line, I learned to put "getting things done" ahead of how my body was actually feeling. 

In our modern culture, it is hard to stop for even a minute if we allow the endless emails and messages to fill every gap in time.  But in my new-normal of having debilitating fatigue, this way of life is impossible.  I have to alternate between some activity and then a period of actual rest (no scrolling).  Most afternoons I sit for a while by the sea with a warm drink to escape the house-bound feeling.  It feels restorative and is always my happiest part of the day.  The expanse of sky and wide open space of estuary reminds me of my "normal" self for a while and that all is okay. As my energy is low, I sit very quietly.  Somehow I blend into the beach and the birds forget that I am even there.  I observe a variety of birds who visit the same part of the beach each day.  And what has struck me is that these energetic, graceful sea birds are not always frantically busy.

Recently, I was seated by the sea just at the time of high tide.  A small cluster of turnstones (small brown and white waders) were all gathered just above the high tide line.  I wondered if they were sheltering from the cold wind while they waited for the sea to start to recede?  I sipped my drink slowly and just watched their behaviour, which seemed to consist of them huddling near each other and having a nap.  Another type of wader appeared with brown dappled feathers, a white underbelly and long delicate legs.  I thought of all the waders that I know and this one was a newcomer. We all sat on the beach as the sun began to lower in the sky, in peaceful harmony resting together.  

The following afternoon, I was seated with the tide having already turned leaving a tempting row of moist sand for the waders.  Yesterday's turnstones were now scampering at speed in all directions, pecking at the freshly wet sand for small edible grubs.  The larger brown-feathered wader was moving about gracefully and with binoculars I noticed that its legs were red, making it easy to identify as a redshank.  The activity of all of these birds was in complete contrast to the previous day's rest session.  Now and then I watched one of the turnstones fly off, circling and dipping so skillfully in the breeze.  

It is perhaps stating the obvious that birds are able to alternate during the daytime between periods of rest and intense activity.  But to me, this was a revelation.  Maybe being constantly busy all day, no matter what, isn't actually that natural after all?  And while I continue to struggle with needing to rest so much with long covid, I can allow my bird companions to show me how.

"Busyness has become a badge of honour. We want to say we're busy, yet at the same time we feel exhausted.

Rest is how we unwind, calm our minds and recharge our bodies." Claudia Hammond

Photos of turnstones and redshank from Unsplash with permission.