How to feel a little calmer while life has some challenges.

I've sneaked in another week on relaxation.  Why?  Because I felt rushed trying to cram relaxing into a single week!  And with two days of painful headaches in the same week as writing about relaxation I wondered if I needed to put this into practice a little more.  I've really enjoyed relaxing in my yoga class or out on a walk by the sea.  I have had some moments of feeling content with this simpler way of life, writing and being out in the garden.  But this peaceful state does not last all day (or all week) and there is more to reflect/improve on... So I turn to the topic of coronavirus and wonder if all the talk/reading/watching is too much for my body or mind?  All the wonderful moments of relaxation that I enjoy could actually be disturbed by half an hour of reading the latest articles? Why would I be so hooked on reading about coronavirus?  Well, we are in the middle of a pandemic and the fourth most affected country right now.  So there's a lot to learn.  At th

Just imagine, a whole day where you don't talk about coronavirus or social distancing at all.  Not one moment of sneaking a look at the latest saddening statistics.  Not one headline.  Nothing. This was my birthday wish, which came true yesterday (Thursday).  I just wanted to feel "normal" and have a happy birthday as my cards say.  Was it easy to stick to?  Yes!  It was a relief to steer away from that topic and engage with the world without coronavirus being invited to my party.  Even a five minute talk or quick internet check can take me ages to digest.  Not on my birthday.  I'm going cold turkey.  My second birthday wish was to have a walk somewhere different from my daily walk by the sea.  I know living by the sea remains a blessing and I can happily stare at the sea for hours each day observing the changing sky and wave patterns.  The seascape however is flat and there are very few trees.  And just for my birthday I want to see greenery and maybe woodland?

Relaxing during a yoga session on Zoom might seem easy, even to those reading who have never rolled out a yoga mat.  But relaxing in my early weeks of trying yoga remotely was tricky.  There is a whole art to working out how to follow instructions on Zoom, especially when my sound quality was so poor I was guessing over half the words.  Added to this, the yoga teacher is about 6cm tall on the screen as opposed to normal in person size.   I nearly abandoned Zoom after two weeks, but in the spirit of kindness for myself and new technology, I persisted. This week a small miracle happened -  I can now hear all the instructions clearly.  A combination of technology adjustments plus long conversations with my partner about things such as bandwidth and slow internet connection.  And the added issue that everyone in the world is now on the internet trying to maintain some kind of work or human connection.  Being able to hear and connect to others for a yoga class or mindfulness group is maki

"We're pretty chilled" I overheard my partner telling a friend on the phone recently.  I laughed so much I nearly choked on my herbal tea.  Chilled would not be the first word that I would use to describe how I feel.  I have taken on our household chores with such seriousness that I have rotas for shopping, cleaning and washing of shopping.  With just one shopping trip a week, using ingredients has started to feel like wartime rationing.  Rather than relaxing for half an hour, I am either ticking things off my list or wiping down door handles.   Slowly I am adapting to our different way of doing things right now.  I can now happily get Zoom to work so I can actually hear the words that are being said rather than trying to guess half of them.  The supermarket visit remains challenging but I am uplifted seeing some empty shelves filling back up with old favourites.  I am so excited to have red lentils, peanut butter and some toilet roll!  Our wonderful Farmers Market and

An hour after I wrote about my deep gratitude for bird song and clean air, I felt tears down my cheeks.  What was I thinking?  How can I write about bird song and clean air when there is real human suffering going on.  People are sick.  Relatives are hoping their precious loved one will pull through. I know what prompted this - a headline I fleetingly saw about care homes and coronavirus spreading.  My dad is a resident of a very pleasant and caring nursing home.  How can I enthuse about beautiful bird song when he could be at risk?  Shouldn't I just sit here on tenterhooks rather than enjoy the blossoming of spring? And then I think of my father.  Right now, I know what he will be doing.  He will be sitting in his room after a filling lunch, looking at the landscaped gardens from his window.  His favourite moment will be spotting the green woodpecker who hops beneath his window on the grass.  Equally exciting is the waddling pair of mallards heading to the nearby river.  He e

Something else is happening around us.  We can hear bird song.  Nature is breathing more freely with the 80% reduction in road and air traffic in many countries.  Cities that are normally choked in polluted air are experiencing Alpine like air quality.  Wild animals are venturing further into urbanisations so that coyotes have been seen on the Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco and sheep roam into towns in Wales.  Endangered hawksbill sea turtles hatch safely on a deserted beach in Brazil.  Our native badgers, hedgehogs and deer will be much safer with less traffic by their fragile homes. The on-going stresses and challenges of life in lockdown remain.  This time is infused with illness and loss and is incredibly hard for so many.  Alongside this very real and serious human crisis, is it possible that the global collective "pause" could teach us something?   The reduction in air pollution for the planet fills me with relief and gratitude.  These tiny signs of our planet he

Gratitude seems to be flourishing right now.  At a national level there has been our collective recognition of gratitude for the wonderful NHS.  We know it has imperfections and limitations, but I am every day grateful for having an NHS system where each of us will be cared for if needed.  And I am grateful for every courageous worker who braves it on the front line.  For someone who struggles to get to the Coop once a week, what they are doing each day is incredible.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you. I wondered if it was "right" to choose gratitude for this week knowing that there is such a serious health situation going on close to home?  But this is the paradox of living alongside more suffering and uncertainty than we are used to: it makes us grateful for the things that we do have.  Maybe in the normal busyness of life we can take many aspects of our lives for granted.  Perhaps it is exactly this uncertainty, scarcity or loss that opens up our hearts a bit wider.

When did shopping for food become so difficult?  Oh yes, around the time the toilet roll started to run out (where did it all go I still wonder?).  Being a considerate shopper, I didn't buy any extra supplies.  So the emptier shelves that have followed have felt worrisome.   Getting enough to eat feels more like an epic mountaineering experience rather than popping to the shops. On my daily walk by the sea life can for a time feel relatively normal.  Spring is blossoming and the sunshine is a tonic. Approaching my local supermarket feels far from normal.  The empty High Street feels eerie and the spaced out queues of people at doorways are still a shock. Trying to navigate around aisles and people at a safe distances is a logistical challenge.  Unless I actually dive into the chilled vegetable section I can't get the 2m clearance! Woven in is the constant thoughts of what have I touched that could have coronavirus lurking on packaging?  To be honest, I'm ready to impl

We all know the reasons for social distancing/isolation and seen the adverts.  The stories and statistics are deeply sobering and worthy of every ounce of our collective effort.  It's something we have to do right now.  Many millions of us round the world are in this together.    And when I reflect on Ahimsa (yoga term for do no harm) we are all acting from the highest good for others and ourselves. Social distancing across continents is an incredible thing to do and takes super human effort. But social distancing isn't easy.  Out on my daily walk, any brief word from a distance seems to consist of people saying they are "fine".  In that typically British stoic way.   I have curiously heard  (on Zoom/phone) of people quite enjoying this enforced break.  And I started to wonder, is it just me struggling with this? And then the words of Brene Brown (vulnerability researcher) started to play in my mind: "We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives

Kindness seems to have become abundant right now.  I'm sure it was there from the start of this Coronavirus outbreak but in my slightly stressed struggling to adapt state I wasn't really noticing it. In a crisis situation, apparently there is a third reaction that comes after fight/flight response and that is the drive to help others.  And as social creatures, that makes sense.  We rely on each other for our survival.  Great news for all of us and my theme of kindness. Seeing the video clips of Spanish residents clapping for the health care teams brought tears to my eyes.  In such difficult times, just staying home often doesn't feel like "enough" when the incredible NHS staff plus thousands of others in key worker roles are working flat out. Yet, the small moments of kindness that the rest of us are doing are making our communities feel like more caring places again.  I've started to really notice them and carry out as many as I can. A really simple,

Is it just me or is anyone else feeling just a little irritable? More stressed and tearful? Not sleeping as well as usual? Or this strange “not feeling like myself but can't quite put my finger on it” state each day as I wake up. Then I remember, we are in lockdown. It's not supposed to feel “normal”. My overly busy mind has been solving some of the practical details- from how to use Zoom (what is that?) to how to get enough food and stay well (hopefully). But it can't solve my real concerns including how long will this last for, will social distancing work and how on earth will I cope being at home for however long? I'm normally a fairly balanced, steady kind of person. But I also love being organised, making plans and adapt to change as slow as a sloth. And this feels super quick. Like seriously, I was travelling by train to Greater London (seated by hundreds of people) and doing a course (even more humans) only a few weeks ago. And now we are here?

When our bodies are faced with a sudden crisis it is likely that our “fight or flight” systems have been activated. This adrenaline releasing process gives energy to do just that, get busy and active and do something. It's perfectly designed for short term emergencies, such as potential flooding where we need to clear the ground floor or leave our home. Quickly. The trouble with the Coronavirus pandemic is that it is much longer lasting than that. I've sorted out a hundred practical details. I've worked out how we are going to get enough food to eat (hopefully). I've researched and read all that I need to know about the virus. So now I need to start to relax a bit. Easier said than done when we are being bombarded by news reports of rising number of cases and further spread. But staying in the stress state isn't good for anyone longer term. Think immune system, the more relaxed we become the better it works. Luckily we have a wonderful cal