Relaxation. Week 3. Could I chill out a bit now?

"We're pretty chilled" I overheard my partner telling a friend on the phone recently.  I laughed so much I nearly choked on my herbal tea.  Chilled would not be the first word that I would use to describe how I feel.  I have taken on our household chores with such seriousness that I have rotas for shopping, cleaning and washing of shopping.  With just one shopping trip a week, using ingredients has started to feel like wartime rationing.  Rather than relaxing for half an hour, I am either ticking things off my list or wiping down door handles.  

Slowly I am adapting to our different way of doing things right now.  I can now happily get Zoom to work so I can actually hear the words that are being said rather than trying to guess half of them.  The supermarket visit remains challenging but I am uplifted seeing some empty shelves filling back up with old favourites.  I am so excited to have red lentils, peanut butter and some toilet roll!  Our wonderful Farmers Market and health food shop are now delivering to our door step taking a bit of stress out of the week.  Small steps matter in these difficult times.

But becoming relaxed or chilled still feel rather out of reach.  Even if I am happily micromanaging to "keep well" my body starts to nudge me that I am slightly over doing this.  When I actually stop, I sense this emotional exhaustion that makes me want to lie down on the floor and rest.  My back has started to hurt again, reminding me to ease back a little.  Are other people feeling this exhaustion too?

However, as we all know, we can't just tell ourselves to chill out.  I need some actual things to do (of course, to add to my list so I can tick these off too).

Step one: To be gentler towards myself.  No matter how I'm feeling it's okay...


This morning I felt positive and happy out in nature by the sea on my walk.  By lunch time I find myself being grumpy with my partner as I don't have quite the same patience as normal.  In times of stress we might be more clumsy or be absent-minded when we never normally are.  Last week while cooking celery soup I put the vegetables into the food waste bin leaving the peelings on the chopping board to cook with.

What I've come to recognise is that all of these new behaviours and changes to to our daily lives take up brain space.  Coping with uncertainty takes emotional energy.  Let's say that living in this pandemic is taking 30% of our day to day energy.  So that just leaves 70% of our energy for everything else.  So we have to be extra gentle with ourselves and those around us.

Step two: Spend some time (eg 20 mins) doing something that is relaxing. 


Easy examples:

Walking out in nature (I can tick relaxing and exercise off at the same time!)
                    
Cooking something for fun rather than necessity- I love baking but had stopped due to my rationing of ingredients in short supply.  So in my new slightly more relaxed mode, I am going to make a gluten-free apple crumble. Oh yes, and a chocolate birthday cake (not on the same day!).
                       
Sitting in the garden reading a novel  (rather than studying yoga text books) and listening to bird song at the same time.

Dancing for a couple of songs, thanks to my neighbours- Sunday 5pm dance on our driveways.  It is actually relaxing and fun!











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